15 Days to go

In fifteen days it will have been a year since my mom left us. Today I felt the need to begin sharing what I've learned over the last year. I truly believe that our trials are gifts from God and are wasted manna if not shared. So, I'm going to start with a fairly easy exercise over the next 15 days. I'll be sharing a song or two from my "Mom" playlist and sharing the lesson learned, the memory attached, or the lines from the piece that earned it a spot on that list. Highlighted links go to Amazaon Music.

Today's selection is "From the Depths of Woe." In the fall of 2020, the decision was made to end treatments for the infection that had plagued Mom's lungs for the last 14 years. I woke up the morning after talking to my dad about this meeting with the doctor and I ran. Now I'm a firm believer in Proverbs 28:1- if only the wicked run, consider me righteous! But this morning I laced up my shoes, put my earbuds in, and ran like my life depended on it. It was not an attempt to get away from something and survive. No, I think I hoped I'd melt like the tigers with Little Sambo's clothes into a pool of inanimate butter. It could just be over and maybe someone would get to enjoy pancakes. 

But this is not how the refining fire of our Lord works. As weak and small as we are, by his mercy it does. not. melt. us. It burns away the impure, making us stronger. It can be awful and painful, but it's always for His glory and for our sanctification. This day I was just beginning to feel the flames licking at my toes. I knew what was to come and I hated it. But I also knew that this was where God was going to meet me and hold me, so there was no better place for me to be. So as I attempted to churn myself, blaring through my earbuds was Indelible Grace singing "From the Depths of Woe."  

This beautiful hymn of lamentation was written by Martin Luther and is based on Psalm 130. From that brisk fall run until this day it has been a great balm to my soul while slogging through the depths of woe. As I've waited for the dawn through many live long nights, it's been a great reminder of where my trust and hope lies. Thank the Lord my hope is not in my works or my merit, thanks be that He has given us His word to uphold us, and praise upon praise that He the good shepherd that will free us from this world in his time.

From the depths of woe I raise to Thee
The voice of lamentation;
Lord, turn a gracious ear to me
And hear my supplication;
If Thou iniquities dost mark,
Our secret sins and misdeeds dark,

O who shall stand before Thee?

To wash away the crimson stain,
Grace, grace alone availeth;
Our works, alas! Are all in vain;
In much the best life faileth;
No man can glory in Thy sight,
All must alike confess Thy might,

And live alone by mercy

Therefore my trust is in the Lord,
And not in mine own merit;
On Him my soul shall rest, His word
Upholds my fainting spirit;
His promised mercy is my fort,
My comfort and my sweet support;

I wait for it with patience

What though I wait the live-long night,
And til the dawn appeareth,
My heart still trusteth in His might;
It doubteth not nor feareth;
Do thus, O ye of Israels seed,
Ye of the Spirit born indeed;

And wait til God appeareth

Though great our sins and sore our woes
His grace much more aboundeth;
His helping love no limit knows,
Our upmost need it soundeth.
Our Shepherd good and true is He,
Who will at last His Israel free