6

I hesitated to put this story in. It might be too real. It might be too much. But after weighing it over and over, I've decided that the lesson from it is a good one and one that needs to be shared. 

Towards the end of Mom's life, she didn't rest very well. She was exhausted from a lack of oxygen and from fighting pneumonia for months. When I would spend time with her at the hospital or at home she'd fall asleep at the drop of a hat, but then would be extremely fitful and filled with dreams. I'm not gonna lie, it was hard to watch. There were times I wanted to yell, "Stop fighting it, just go to sleep!" like she had said to my kids when they were toddlers and wouldn't nap. Most of the time, she'd wake herself up talking. 

Here's where the lesson and song come in. The things she'd wake up saying were nuts. I'd look over at her as her eyes focused. She sheepishly look at me, grin a little, and then I'd let go of the laugh I was attempting to hold in just in case she wasn't okay.

 

"I didn't say that out loud. Did I?"

"What's going on over there, Mom?"

"I don't know. Something about Barry Manilow or the Copacabana. What are the words to that song?" 

So we sat in Baptist Hospital and sang Copacabana.

And that's the lesson, my friends. Take a deep breath and laugh and let the levity in when it knocks on the door. It will show up and blossom around you if you'll let it. This business of walking with someone as they're dying is incredibly difficult. You can spend every second worrying, fretting, trying to make a difference, trying to change the outcome, trying to avoid the outcome, that you can miss the blessing of the moment. And the moments are all we've got. This is the secret to multiplying your blessings. Training yourself to spend your time with hands and heart open to receive what the Lord has for you. The more you practice seeing the good, seeking His blessings, assuming they're there, the easier they are to spot. You'll realize the blessings haven't really been multiplied, you've just allowed yourself to be disciplined into a posture that can see them for what they are. Because, from what I've experienced, they don't always show up ready to party "with yellow feathers in their hair and a dress cut down to there." Sometimes it's just the silliness of our frailty that needs a good laugh. And that good laugh can be enough to bolster us to look for the next laugh or carry us through the coming tear. Mom spent her life trying to teach me to "be positive, look on the bright side." Maybe I'm starting to get it...

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"Copacabana"

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star
Tony always tended bar
Across the crowded floor, they worked from eight til four
They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more?

At the copa (co) Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the copa (co) Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the copa they fell in love

Copa, Copacabana
His name was Rico
He wore a diamond
He was escorted to his chair, he saw Lola dancing there
And when she finished, he called her over
But Rico went a bit to far
Tony sailed across the bar
And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two
There was blood and a single gun shot
But just who shot who?

At the copa (co) Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the copa (co) Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the copa, she lost her love
(Copa, Copacabana)
(Copa, Copacabana)
(Copacabana)

like in Havana
(Copa, banana)
Music and passion were always in fashion

Her name is Lola, she was a showgirl
But that was thirty years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it's a disco, but not for Lola
Still in dress she used to wear
Faded feathers in her hair
She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind
She lost her youth and she lost her Tony
Now she's lost her mind

At the copa (co) Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the copa (co) Copacabana
Music and passion were always in fashion
At the copa don't fall in love

don't fall in love
(Copacabana)
(Copacabana)